Friday, November 19, 2010

Monday Poem::::::::::::::: [Your Body]

Manohar Bhatia
Friends,
Here is my Monday Poem...........I hope you enjoy it.
I will be most grateful to know where I have gone wrong and necessary critical comments.........
.__[ Your Body ]__
Man, woman, human body,
marvellous,wondersful machinery,
worth paying a visit insides?
be an invisible being
to enter your beautiful body
and understand its functioning.

Take a fantastic tour
of your engaging head,
watch nerves,criss-crossing
each other like laser beams,
lighted up,shinning brightly,
pat the nerves, make them comfortable.

Go to cerebrum and cerebellum,
for study,inquiry,curiousity,
see soft tissues of cerebrum,
layer upon layer
awesomely interwoven by Mother Nature,
not touching them,but blessing.

Continue your journey,
travelling to your heart,
say 'hello' to for unbounded love,
hear its beatings,Kahump,Kahump,
to know its pumping of blood,
if heart is happy,then link of health.

Step down to your stomach,
careful not to get entangled
in small,large intestines,
just touch these strong
intertwined fleshy ropes
making sure for perfect order.

Now make way to kidney,liver,
performing complicated tasks,
manipulating urine,blood,gas,
for peak health and looks,
consider them as your children
planting a gentle kiss upon them

Don't ever burden them,
with unlimited tasks,
but give them excellent comfort,
by eating in moderation,
so that food is processed
easily, quickly for digestion.

Lastly, always take plenty
of water for proper
nourishing,assimilating,refreshing,
every cell in your body,
so as to ride it,
to the pink of health.

Make a note of this fabulous journey
by uploading everything
on your mobile phone
to be watched as complete
movie, again and again!
__ The End ___
copyright@ManoharBhatia.
All rights are reserved.

Diane Tegarden
Manohar,
an interesting journey indeed,
the ending about uploading it to your mobile phone was very funny.
As for critique...all I can say is two words...SPELL CHECK!
wonderful is misspelled in the first stanza, insides should be inside, in second stanza shinning should be shining, in 5th stanza entangles should be entangled.
Great advice about eating in moderation and drinking plenty of water,
Diane T.
Energetically, Diane Tegarden"Getting OUT of Limbo-A Self Help Divorce Book for Women";"Light ThroughShuttered Window- A Compendium of my Poetry";"Anti-Vigilante and TheRips in Time"- available at www.firewalkerpublications.com and www.Amazon.com
Maya Mahant
Manohar,
Your choice of topics and the inspiration is so typically you,
even the way you handle the subject. It is like your calling card.
Maya
Jack Huber
I think "wondersful" is deliciously misspelled.
A nice tour of a close friend's anatomy, Manohar.
Very inventive.
Jack
Diane Stephenson
Manohar:
Very creative thinking.
[Lastly, always take plentyof water
for proper nourishing,assimilating,refreshing,
every cell in your body,
so as to ride it,
to the pink of health.]

How true that water is very essential to good health, for every cell in our bodies. We are, as the Bible says, fearfully and wonderfully made.
Diane

1 comment:

  1. Hi,
    Members are requested to go through this poem and offer thier critical comments for beeter improvment of the poem.Thanks.

    Manohar Bhatia.

    ReplyDelete