F.O.R.M::: Sestina_____ ["A jungle Outing"].

Topic: F.O.R.M.- Sestina.
Jack Huber Sestina.
The sestina is a very structured form of six sestets (six-line stanzas) followed by a triplet (or tercet, a three-line stanza) for a total of 39 lines. What sets it apart, however, is the re-use of the final word in each line of the first stanza in a specific order that is different in each subsequent stanza. All six repeating words appear in the triplet as well.The sestet is usually strictly metered and is commonly written in decasyllables, or lines of ten syllables each, but other formal structures are acceptable. Rhyming is not a requirement of the form, but if the first stanza rhymes (i.e. a-b-c-a-b-c or a-b-a-b-a-b) , the balance will rhyme by default, since the rhyming words are the ones repeated. However, the pattern of rhyme will only follow the sequence of last words for each stanza. In a rhyming pattern, lines ending in a sound designated by “a” only rhyme with other “a” lines, “b” lines only with other “b” lines, and so on. The notation for the last words is “1” through “6,” for each of the six lines, thus the pattern of use is as follows:Stanza 1: 1 2 3 4 5 6Stanza 2: 6 1 5 2 4 3Stanza 3: 3 6 4 1 2 5Stanza 4: 5 3 2 6 1 4Stanza 5: 4 5 1 3 6 2Stanza 6: 2 4 6 5 3 1Stanza 7: 6 2, 1 4, 5 3The final triplet, using all six words in three lines, is a point in the sestet that can vary from form, using a different pattern (i.e. 1 2, 3 4, 5 6), or perhaps a couplet (two-line stanza, i.e. 6 2 1, 4 5 3). A rare format even ends on a haiku or senryu, utilizing the six repeated words in the accepted 5-7-5 syllabic pattern.
So, in the example below, 1=day, 2=cold, 3=place, 4=café, 5=hold and 6=embrace.
Example:A
Picturesque Café
Regardless of the time of day,
or if a tempest's rain is cold,
my mind will wander to the place
where first we met, that quaint café,
when both our lives were still on hold;
we hadn't had our first embrace.

The world had left me to embrace
a job I suffered through each day,
no inspiration taking hold,
relentless as a common cold.
But in this picturesque café
my life was never out of place.

I hadn't known that in this place
I'd found a reason to embrace
my future and this old café.
I made my mind up on this day
that though the season's turning cold,
the promise of its warmth I'd hold.

A notion started, keeping hold,
that there was something in this place
which bore the brunt of passions cold,
where many felt love's kind embrace,
escaping from their trying day--
I'd someday own this aged café.

The atmosphere of my café,
an ambiance of which would hold
the patrons' kindness through the day-
this would be the only place
to offer all a warm embrace,
a lively shelter from the cold.

Through summer's drought and winter's cold,
my friends would come to my café
to help each other, love, embrace
camaraderie, while couples hold
each other, like no other place
to spend their lives day after day.

I longingly embrace the cold
and greet the day in our cafe,
take hold of this, our perfect place.
Copyright © 2009 by Jack Huber


Manohar Bhatia Jack,This is a very difficult one, but challenging.What's this life if its not a challenge?I am trying Jack to come up with this one.Will I be able to do it?Manohar Bhatia.on Tuesday ·

Jack Huber I'm sure you will, Manohar, but it can take time--Jack.

Manohar Bhatia Dear Jack,I have taken nearly 2 hours to write this F.O.R.M. but I feel relieved that I have written something for you to check mate::::::::::::::::;;;
______ [ A Jungle Outing] ______
[" Lions,tigers,snakes roam in the wild
as we prepare to go hunting
for their beautiful priceless skins,
Me and my team of greedy friends
drive in open jeep for outing
bravely facing danger to lives] 1-2-3-4-5-6

[" Group of daredevils don't care for lives
as they are born fearless and wild
ready to go for an outing
risking everything for a hunting
to merge as a cartel of friends
all eager to possess the skins."] 6-1-5-2-4-3

[" Of what use are these animal skins
when facing a ban in our lives
as well as for our deadly friends
their thinking so stupid and wild
instead finding job to hunting
Surprise, all rushing for outing."] 3-6-4-1-2-5

[" None thinks of difficult outing
where roaming harms our delicate skins
to walk in the sun and go hunting
endangering our delicate lives
and skip our best thoughts in the wild
for us as well as for our friends"] 5-3-2-6-1-4

["Who are these bunch of dirty friends
without rational thinking for outing
little realising all going wild
instead of saving full their skins
and bring stability to lives
not dream about doing stupid hunting"] 4-5-1-3-6-2

[" It was task to find job in hunting
most difficult for my mad friends
by putting a stake on their lives
to go in jungle as outing
instead of protecting their skins
and hard to return from the wild"] 2-4-6-5-3-1

[" I do find hunting and outing
in the wild with friends
exciting but for our skins and lives!"] 2,5 1,4 3,6
____ The End ____
copyright @ManoharBhatia.
All rights are reserved.
Cathy Robinson
this was my first and only sestina...i wrote it in about fifteen minutes during a workshop. surprisingly, i was the only one to get past stanza 3...maybe i should try another. let me know what you think.
Dream bridge-
By Cathy Robinson_______
[walking on a bridge of dreams
i quiver at the sight below my knees
buckle and i freeze
dear God, don't let it break
the water's deep and I hope
this bridge will remain strong

right now i'm anything but strong
inching slow upon these dreams
looking everywhere for hope
but finding only terror below
i could really use a break
deep breaths won't help, i freeze

if i fall will the water freeze
my body? trying to stand strong
feet unsure, but my will won't break
deciding to trust the dreams
God gave me, the water below
stills, and i gain new hope

resting in this new found hope
i smile, and the water freezes
all of a sudden what's below
makes me feel almost strong
can't help but trust these dreams
the One who gave them doesn't break

finally the lonesome fear breaks
and light shines on in hope
that i'll not only walk on dreams
but even when my flesh freezes
my spirit remains God-strong
and i don't worry about below

for all that creeps and lies below
pushes my faith not to break
gives me power, a heart so strong
that i can give another hope
pick them up when their flesh freezes
and help them to walk on dreams

so if your dreams threaten to break
don't look below, look to hope
while others freeze, you will be strong.]
____ The End ____

Jack Huber Manohar, in S3 you have repeated "hunting" instead of using "outing," otherwise this conforms perfectly. As a suggestion, since you are not using a classic meter or rhyme, you may want to fill in missing articles (the, an, etc.) to smooth out your lines, i.e. "to go in jungle as outing" could be "to go in the jungle for an outing."Nicely written, Cathy. I especially like the envoy, which sums it up beautifully.Jackon Tuesday ·

Anthea Burson I've long thought of writing one of these. What a perfect time to actually do it. I'm inspired by others' successes as well! I miss my Newton poetry group. (Jobs, travel and families took their toll and the group is no more- and now I am on the road as well, so online is great..
The coffee isn't as good, but you can't have everything. lol)
GREAT job you two!!
Manohar! In just two hours!? I am impressed. Cathy.. wow. Sometimes inspiration hits and things just seem to write themselves, huh? I definitely thing you could try another!And now, I shall try my first. (check back in a week or two- LOL!)
Manohar Bhatia Jack,Thank you very much for coming to my poem........ yes there is typo error in hunting.....in s/3, the last line word should be 'outing'Whew! I have passed the test and here is a bouquet of roses for you as my appreciation!And Anthea Burson, a big thank you for reading and liking.

Jack Huber I want to congratulate all of you who wrote sestinas this week. This is one of the most difficult forms (I think only the cleave is more challenging) and you all did very well. Most other forms will now seem much easier by comparison...Jack.

["This Rainfall is Blinding"]_____F.O.R.M.::Monchielle.

Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchielle.
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Jul 05, 2010 4:20 am
Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchielle.
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Manohar Bhatia
Dear Members,Every year, I travel on my byke without protection during the rainy season at least once, just to get the thrill of being soaked in rain.This poem came to me, a few days back."This Rainfall Is Blinding."F.O.R.M._______ Monchielle.[ "This Rainfall Is Blindingas the dark cluds are seento strike at each otherfor thunder and lightningfor everyone to bother!This Rainfall Is Blindingas motorists zip pastwith wipers left and righton the deserted landwhere no life is in sight!This Rainfall Is Blindingas I drive my mobikethrough pot-holed road surfacestruggling for right balancealthough muddy water faced!This Rainfall Is Blindingwhere fierce winds uproot treesblocking all the trafficthrowing life out of gearpainting the scene graphic!" ]________ The End_______Manohar Bhatiacopyright@ManoharBhatiaAll rights are reserved. Notes: Since I am still a learner of poetry, I want the members comments on this poem.Thanks.
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Jul 05, 2010 7:39 am
re: Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchielle.
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Maya Mahant
Manohar, very visual, giving a graphic picture of Mumbai during monsoons.There is one typo (as the dark 'cluds' are seen) o has been left out in the cloud.Other than that, I will leave the rest to the resident 'poet guru'.Maya
Private Reply to Maya Mahant
Jul 05, 2010 11:21 am
re:Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_____F.O.R.M. Monchielle
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Diane Tegarden
Manohar,I especially liked the stanza:"This Rainfall Is Blindingwhere fierce winds uproot treesblocking all the trafficthrowing life out of gearpainting the scene graphic!" I couldn't find any errors, other then the typo Maya pointed out. (And the word "byke" in your introduction.)Rain is a blessing, the Earth needs its water for cleansing and all the creatures on Her,Diane T.Energetically, Diane Tegarden"Getting OUT of Limbo-A Self Help Divorce Book for Women";"Light ThroughShuttered Window- A Compendium of my Poetry";"Anti-Vigilante and TheRips in Time"- available at www.firewalkerpublications.com and www.Amazon.com
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Jul 05, 2010 8:20 pm
re: Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchielle.
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Diane Stephenson
Manohar:Very descriptive. I would hate to have to ride a bike in that kind of weather. I much prefer to be indoors, dry and warm. I salute you for your venturesome "habit".Diane
Private Reply to Diane Stephenson
Jul 06, 2010 4:55 am
re: re: Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchiel
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Ayub Bangroo
Manohar,Very descriptive poem,of course you have painted a typical monsoon day in Mumbai.The way you enjoy it is quite unique just as your poetry always has a different look.Ayub
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Jul 06, 2010 6:21 am
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Khurshid Alam
Hi Manohar,A fine poem! You're driven by the thrill and the rain.A good description, fine imagery, and poetic verse.- Khurshid
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Jul 13, 2010 2:22 am
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Manohar Bhatia
Thanks to_________Maya,Diane.T. and Diane.S.Ayub,Khurshid for their valuable comments.Manohar Bhatia
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Jul 13, 2010 10:13 am
re: Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchielle.
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Jack Huber
Since you asked...The choice of Monchielle works well with your theme.You have a couple of lines with 7 syllables, S1L5 and S4L5.I think two of your stanzas' last lines should be rewritten. "Although muddy water faced" and "painting the scene graphic" don't really work well. When you are limited to six syllables, the tendency is to use phrasing that doesn't quite make sense, letting the reader jump to the understanding of what you meant, but it is preferable to avoid doing that. This is one thing that makes the Monchielle so difficult to write well.Hope this helps. This is a very good draft and I think can be made into a great poem. Jack
Private Reply to Jack Huber
Jul 14, 2010 1:18 am
re: re: Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchiel
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Manohar Bhatia
Jack,I want to thank you profusely for your timely help for corrections in the poem::: "This Rainfall is Blinding."I agree to your points....but frankly, even I had a hunch that somewhere I was wrong in those phrases....painting the scene graphic and muddy water faced.....because you know I go for a correction taught to me by my dad,who was only a Matriculate(Meaning XI passed).He had tought me that if you want to speak good English,go by the sound of your ear hearing.He meant that if a spoken sentence does not sound good to the ear, then there is something wrong somewhere.The two phrases...."painting the scene graphic" and muddy water faced do go by my dad's theory and hence needs corrections.Thanks again Jack for guiding me.Manohar Bhatia
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Jul 20, 2010 2:31 am
re: Monday Poem::::::::::; "This Rainfall Is Blinding."_________F.O.R.M. Monchielle.
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Manohar Bhatia
Hi everyone,I have made the necessary corrections and this is my final draft::::::::::::::Request Jack for approval.["This Rainfall Is Blinding"]This Rainfall is Blindingas the dark clouds are seenpreparing for a clashfor thunder and lightningcreating deadly flash!This Rainfall is Blindingas motorists zip pastwith wipers left and righton the deserted landwith no life is in sight!This Rainfall is Blindingas I drive my mobikethrough pot-holed road surfacestruggling for right balancefor a beautiful grace!This Rainfall is Blindingwhere fierce winds uproot treesthrowing life out of gearblocking all the trafficpainting the scene to fear!____ The End____copyright@ManoharBhatiaAll rights are reserved.

F.O.R.M. Poetry__________Puente.

F.O.R.M.- Puente (revisited)
Views: 67
Jul 20, 2010 9:17 am
F.O.R.M.- Puente (revisited)
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Jack Huber
Puente"Puente" means "bridge" in Spanish, and the so-named poetic form is built around one. This intriguing form was invented by poet James Rasmusson and described by ShadowPoetry.com.Interestingly, I was drawn to this form when I saw it because I grew up in La Puente, California, a community near Los Angeles.Constructed in three stanzas, the first and third are separate thoughts, conditions or elements, but share an equal number of lines and the center "bridge" stanza. This middle stanza is but one line and is enclosed in tildes (~) to distinguish itself as both the last line of the first stanza and the first line of the last stanza.The meter and rhyming are at the poet's discretion, free verse being perfectly acceptable. The title is has no guidelines; it need not match the bridge stanza like the example below.Example:The Dilettante's GardenThe heiress dabbles in chic baroque as ifeach artifact was made for her solitaryamusement, while commoners are unawareof her ardor for her superb private grounds,~the dilettante's garden~required an architect's touch, its designfirst penciled on a bit of used stationary,yet rendered a horticulturalist's dream,now a flawless, serene arboretum.Copyright © 2009 by Jack Huber
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Jul 20, 2010 9:51 am
re: F.O.R.M.- Puente (revisited)- small world
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Diane Tegarden
Jack,you won't believe this but I grew up in Rowland Heights, the suburb "across the tracks" from La Puente, and graduated from Santana HS, a continuation school located in La Puente!Small world, eh?Thanks for this new FORM, I must have missed it the first time around,Diane T.Energetically, Diane Tegarden"Getting OUT of Limbo-A Self Help Divorce Book for Women";"Light ThroughShuttered Window- A Compendium of my Poetry";"Anti-Vigilante and TheRips in Time"- available at www.firewalkerpublications.com and www.Amazon.com
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Jul 20, 2010 11:58 am
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Maya Mahant
Jack, do you think this works, 'Form' is intriguing.... so gave it a try.Million BucksRoll of dice, click clack of the roulette wheel,blank faces, painted faces in anticipation wait.Bright lights, hazy with cigarette smoke, hush is palpable,The wheel slows, the dice stops, jubilation erupts.~ million bucks won ~money for dreams to turn true; home with a garden,hope for the children, to study, to make merry,succor for the needy, shelter for the homeless. To share, to give, to help, all this and more.Maya
Private Reply to Maya Mahant
Jul 20, 2010 1:49 pm
re: re: F.O.R.M.- Puente (revisited)- small world
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Jack Huber
Diane, I think you told me that once before and I mentioned that my dad owned the Texaco station on Colima and Fullerton Rds. (It had an 80 foot tall vertical sign you could see for ten miles), and I worked there as a teen. I may have even pumped your gas back in the 70's. In 1977-78 I lived in apartments behind Rowland Bowl.Jack
Private Reply to Jack Huber
Jul 20, 2010 1:56 pm
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Jack Huber
A very good first draft, Maya. Remember that the bridge line is part of both the first and last stanzas, as in:The wheel slows, the dice stops, jubilation erupts.million bucks wonmillion bucks wonmoney for dreams to turn true; home with a garden,So, perhaps "A million bucks won" would work better, and it could look like this:The wheel slows, the dice stops, jubilation erupts-~ A million bucks won ~makes dreams come true; a home with a garden,Jack
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Jul 21, 2010 1:16 am
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Pushpa Moorjani
Wow! this is fun...I like this form... :))
Private Reply to Pushpa Moorjani
Jul 21, 2010 1:42 am
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Maya Mahant
You are right Jack, it does sound better, thank you. Do you think I need to fine tune it?Maya
Private Reply to Maya Mahant
Jul 21, 2010 4:16 am
F.O.R.M.- Puente (revisited)- small world
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Stanley Shiel
This form is excellent; the bridge line has great pivotal possibilities.Stanley.Thank you Jack for bringing this form to public attention here.And as ever, Maya gives an example!
Private Reply to Stanley Shiel
Jul 21, 2010 9:33 am
re: F.O.R.M.- Puente (revisited)
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Manohar Bhatia
Jack,Jack,this one is very exciting and challenging.I think all these short forms have some type of mathematics invloved.Here is my one_____________--The Government Machinery.[The politicians indulge in adeadly game of rule,sorcery,fakenesswhere the citizens are crushedthe weight of this Monster~ The Government Machinery ~needs to knock out itsold nuts,bolts,washers,used oiland come up as a gorgeous new factorybuilt of, by and for the people.] ____ The End____copyright@ManoharBhatiaAll rights are reserved.Jack and others,please give your feedback.Thanks.Manohar Bhatia.
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Jul 21, 2010 10:32 am
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Manohar Bhatia
Hello,A minor correction to this line________ S1L4[under the weight of this Monster.]Manohar Bhatia.
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Jul 21, 2010 10:55 am
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Pushpa Moorjani
Thanks Jack.. I am loving this.....Ryze, facebook, twitter and other endless networksLeave little time for my important monthly health checksIt’s when BP shoots high and eyes can’t focus on groundThe limbs seriously weak, I feel my appetite tweak ~I know I must sit down to relax~Tired of walking for miles in search of butter and breadI wish I could get a phone call from my closest friendWho cooks delicious meals but nowadays doesn’t speak I am learning to apologize without a flattery cream.(c) Pushpee
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Jul 21, 2010 2:34 pm
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Jack Huber
Let's see if I can get this all in...Maya, thanks. By all means continue to fine tune your poetry until you are satisfied with it. Then, don't look back at it for at least a week.Stanley, I agree with you. Thanks for the comment.Manohar, nice puente. I would suggest that you add a comma after "Monster" to help bring the bridge line into that stanza. The following stanza does this very well.Pushpa, the great thing about your puente is that the last stanza is not just a continuation of the preceding lines, it is a new, though related, thought. This is the guideline many poets miss, but you've done beautifully. Maya and Manohar have also accomplished this, but to a lesser degree.Thanks, everyone, for your great postings.Jack
Private Reply to Jack Huber
Jul 21, 2010 3:27 pm
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Pushpa Moorjani
Thank you sooooo much Jack....I learnt something new today!!!
Private Reply to Pushpa Moorjani
Jul 22, 2010 6:48 am
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Manohar Bhatia
Jack,Thanks for your excellent comments.Yes, I will keep comma after Monster.Manohar Bhatia